Finding me Again

Sometimes our lives seem like they are being swept in a current so strong and that the only way is to drown. I’m reminded of a time my friends and I went white water rafting. We had to raft over 8 rapids. 7 of them went well, we followed instructions, row forward, row backwards, pause, duck etcetera until we got to the last one. One minute we were holding onto the raft and in the next breath, I was swallowing up water.

In that moment all you’re thinking about is, “Where is the raft? Why am I not on it? What just happened?” and as you think, you continue to sink. You feel lost. Your life flashes before your eyes. You try to remember all the safety instructions that were given at the beginning and can’t seem to remember any. You try to flap your arms but because you’re in a state of panic, you continue to sink even with the life jacket on.

Somewhere though, it gets to you. You recall being asked to relax if you ended up out of the raft. To breathe and stay calm. You may even hear one of the life guards shouting above the waves, “RELAX” So you tell yourself to calm down and slowly you begin to float and in no time are above the surface.

Like an insect caught within a spider web, you struggle to be set free and every attempt seems futile. But it is in that realization that maybe slowing down is the answer; that despite your fear at the time, a story of hope, survival and acceptance of oneself still exists and so you breathe.

You take deep breaths, remind yourself that you are human. Life sometimes can be overwhelmingly fast but you don’t have to allow the current to drag you along and that in being calm, you can remain grounded, you have hope for better and can finally find yourself again. Always remember that its different for everyone. Your finish line is yours alone. You are in your own race.