Lifestyle · Personal Opinion


As a child, one had their choices and decisions clear. It was either a doll or a particular toy you wanted to play with. Over the ages, as one becomes more aware of their surroundings, things get more complicated. You start to think of what ifs and who will be missing what, if you took one thing or the other. Everybody and everything becomes a factor in your decision making. However, sometimes a modicum of selfishness comes into play if we are to get what we want or desire.

The great Graham Brown had a kind way of adding a little pressure to the choices we make. “Life is about choices. Some we regret some we are proud of while some will haunt us forever. The message: we are what we choose to be”. Therefore, you ask yourself “Who do I choose to be?”

I have not been here in a while. Well, my exploration of vlogging has taken a great turn so I decided to give it a little more time. You could please follow and join the tribe here. Today I reflect on choices, what they do, to not only us, but also the people around us. While some result in bliss. A bliss that brings joy and contentment that you would hope for, others leave us questioning the validity of this choice.

One of the choices that has always intrigued me is the choice on motherhood or parenthood. When does one come to make this decision to become a mother? This question comes with its own pressure. It requires utmost honesty and intentionality when answering it. Deciding to have a child may be a solo mission, it may involve the father of the child or just be an outright accident. In some instances, the carrier gets shocked too. You only realize you are carrying another human being after a series of cravings and bodily changes.

You are in most cases at war within yourself, wondering if the decision was worth it or maybe a little more time could have worked well. The myriads of fights with the other party, a need for their presence only equaled by the wish for their absence. In equal measure, you will love and hate yourself, chewing through a catalog of foods before finding the desirable taste for the human inside you.

When intentional about having a child, there is no accident; you throw precaution out the window. I wonder if this means more concentration during the process or enticing the other person enough that they forget and just provide exactly that which you desire. The hope and thought of coming joys is a slap on the cheek that reminds you to keep happy during the difficult phases.

As an individual, you work, eat, dress up and do nearly everything for two. A lot more about you changes. The physical, psychological, even the emotions; the smallest thing could make you smile or cry.

The people around come with a myriad of reactions. There are those who are genuinely excited, they have nothing to lose or gain from your pregnancy. It is all smiles and kisses, laughter and care. There are those that get angry. Why?! Why would one get angry that another has decided to bring life to the world? There are those that get disappointed. Where in the equation do you and your disappointment fit?

Just like choosing to have a child comes from within oneself, so do many other things like choice of school, profession, what soccer team, what job to keep or quit, whom to love or not to and so on.

No one says it will be easy, some choices will test your resolve; you’ll wish you didn’t make the choice in the first place. Others bring you immense joy. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks, You and only YOU made the conscious choice. You also expect support from those that you believe should stand with you, this however is never guaranteed. Our expectations of humanity to conform to our choices should be as little as none. We therefore must willingly surrender to criticisms and judgment. However, most importantly the decision should be able to satisfy you and your desires. 

6 thoughts on “C.H.O.I.C.E.S

  1. 😂 Maybe I’ll answer the anger and disappointment bit. I’ve seen Street children, I’ve seen child marriages. I’ve seen children starve and children grossly abused. I’ve seen children forced to become parents at the age of 5. So it might be a choice like any other because you make it but this affects another human being who didn’t make that choice. Just because you can have a child doesn’t necessarily mean you should at that time or without thinking things through. If you are able to care for your child till they can claim independence by all means go ahead. But if not, then sure I’ll probably be one of the people questioning those choices.
    Great piece. I like the thought it provokes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As an adult we can only and honestly be appreciative of the choice(s) we make. We learn that sometimes we really have no choice. We can only live.

    Also, decisions which bind another person can only cause happiness ,less hurt and human sense when both in hugs. Our actions pre-lay options and equal results. But unfortunately as adults we selfishly and selflessly forge ahead regardless.

    Subjectively, parenthood is the best blessing and fulfillment one can ever have on this earth no matter the circumstances. The reason we wake up and hustle*. That motivation not to fail the children surpasses all.

    Judging & critiquing others is for the lonely and weak… we all authors struggling with writer’s block to pen down the next page / chapter in our lives. Focus.


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